he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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