I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize