Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
