no, he came in my armpit
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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