The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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