maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
