i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize