this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
