I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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