the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
