Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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