Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
