Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
this hospital has no fireball
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
