people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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