I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
