They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
