Pappa wants mamma naked
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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