I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
