She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
