I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
