I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
