I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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