remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
