i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
