I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
