Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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