Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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