Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She's the barista slut.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
