Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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