Plan B is the new Plan A
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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