you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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