i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
