Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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