I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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