Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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