You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
