It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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