Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
