I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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