is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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