On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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