At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
