You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
