I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
