we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize