how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
