The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
