Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
