your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
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Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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