Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize