i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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