So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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