she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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