oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
