I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
