Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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