Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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