My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
