I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
