I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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