WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
