are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.