Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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