she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
